I have a strange (maybe pathological) need to organize and categorize things.
I’ve done this recently with the challenges I face on a day to day basis as a husband, dad, friend, and pastor and wanted to share what I came up with. Maybe it will help you as it helps me…I hope that’s the case. Maybe it will convince you I’ve got issues that need some professional attention…please let me know if that’s the case and send me some $ to pay for the help!
Here we go. I mentally place all the challenges I face in one of four categories.
1. Problem to be solved.
2. Tension to be managed.
3. Person to be loved.
4. Mosquito to be swatted.
Crazy right?…let’s look at each individually.
#1. Problem to be solved
These are the things that need action and decision. I need to identify the issue and take a swing at solving the problem. In my world that might be picking the best weekend for camp around crazy school district calenders, holidays, football games, and school dances.
Problems to be solved require a decision to be made.
#2. Tension to manage
Andy Stanley introduced me to this idea. I used to categorize these as problems to be solved but they never seemed to go away. An example of this would be the tension I feel to Disciple Believers and at the same time be sensitive to “outsiders” in our environments. Which way should we go? That is a terrible question…because it is not a problem to be solved. This is a healthy tension to manage. The day you lose this tension is the day you lose sight of one or the other. I’m pretty sure the Great Commission isn’t supposed to be half followed.
Tensions to manage require an ongoing conversation.
#3. Person to be Loved
I am a driver so this one is important to me. I want to answer people’s questions and solve people’s problems. The truth is, that may or may not be what they want from you. The first step is to shut up and listen then pray for wisdom and respond.
People to be loved require your attention and a response.
#4. Mosquito to be Swatted
This is my newest category and one that has freed me more than anything. The truth is that in this age of information and distraction I have more coming at me than I can handle. I just need to say no. I just need to swat some things away and not let them bother me. In my world that could be complaints about what we are not doing, requests for me to sit on another committee, or go to another lunch where someone is trying to get me to buy something or something else. It’s not that they aren’t important…many of the requests are. I just have to keep my sanity and my ability to do what God has asked me to do a priority.
Swatting mosquitoes requires a willingness to let people down and come to grips with your limits.
Here’s where this idea is most helpful.
If something isn’t working or I feel “stuck” it’s usually because I put it in the wrong category.
When I treat people like problems to solve (something I did for my first few years of teaching) it doesn’t work.
When I try to solve a tension to manage with a decision…it comes back up tomorrow.
When I try to have a conversation about a probem to solve…I frustrate the peole I work with.
When I don’t swat away the mosquitos…I get overwhelmed…unorganized…and useless.
The mosquitoes in life always get me. In ministry it has always taken the form of not letting anyone down…saying “no” is a work in progress for me.
Also, I don’t think you are crazy. People all have these thoughts, just not all of them dissect them to such detail. Crazy isn’t the right word, detail oriented may be a better description.
no kidding…the distractions take up most my time for sure. Still working on letting people down well!
#2 Tension to Manage and #4 Swat the mosquito’s are both helpful. I really like the boxes analogy because in real life, I live with clutter scattered on my desk… have enough of it… lump it all in one box… then “get to it at a later date.” When that happens, everything in the box (due to timing out) becomes a box of mosquito’s to be exterminated.