There are two things a High School Principal fears over all others….
Coming in second place is any phone messages, meeting requests, or emails with “Cheerleading” in the subject line. Seriously.
And in first place…the meanest scariest person to walk the halls of any High School….
…the wild eyed Drama Teacher tapping at your door asking if you have a second.
I just got a shiver down my spine….
This was true for me, the principal, and my friend Gina…the wild eyed drama teacher.
I attended Gina’s funeral the other day and I have been doing a lot thinking about some of the lessons she taught me.
Gina was one of the loudest people I knew. She owned the room, whether the actual owner of the room wanted her to or not. She constantly had kids cornered in the hallway about one thing or another. She ran practices way over the scheduled end times and routinely kicked kids out of the play for not pulling their weight. She expected excellence and she got it!
…..And the kids loved her.
They didn’t say it all the time…they didn’t show it all the time…but they did. The room at the funeral was half full of kids…one had flown back from Seattle to pay his respects. She was truly an incredible woman and one of my all-time favorite characters in the story of my life. Her husband is as well…but I hope I’m not done telling stories about him. We have some serious fishing to do together.
She was one of the best leaders I know. She never read leadership books that I knew of…she wouldn’t have read this blog regularly in a million years for leadership insight…But she knew the most important leadership principle of all. This principal will cover 90% of all leadership concerns.. Leadership books can only really help you with the last 10%. This is most of Leadership…at least the kind of leadership I’m talking about…the kind that really matters as you sit at a funeral.
She loved who she led.
Not the kind of love you had to earn. Not in some weird hippie way.
She loved you because you were under her care. She chose to love you. She chose to love the students in her care. She chose to love the “Goober” she married. She chose to love me.
She was tough…she was crabby sometimes…she would push kids beyond what kids ever believed they could do. She made this principal tremble in his chair…
And we all came back for more…because she loved them. We knew, deep down, she only wanted the best for us.
If you are a leader let me ask you this question.
Do you love your team?
Do you love the people who follow you?
Have you ever considered that is a choice you can make?….to love them.
I’ve worked under lots of people and let me tell you the difference between those I followed and those I worked for…the ones I followed wanted what was best for me. The leaders I worked for saw me as a means to an end.
So…do people (students, staff, volunteers) see you as a boss they work for or a leader they follow?
Thanks Gina…I will miss you.
Tough stuff bro but good all around. I feel as though I love my team. It changes every year (collegiate ministry) We have student leaders and I try to go out my way to let them know I’m available and I try to do things for them. Whether that’s listen, impromptu gifts, or whatev ya know. Not saying that’s what it takes to love them but I do let them know I care and that I want to see them grow in whatever area they want to go in.
Got any advice as a leader on how you love your team? I’m new to the game (fresh new intern this year-new responsibilities)
All I can say is lead well. Do the rights stuff…own it when you don’t. Do the hard stuff…own it when you don’t. Do it because you love them…not to show them you love them. The first is real…the second can become counterfeit leadership quickly.
Good word. Thanks man!
Nice words and thoughts. Thanks. After 35+ years with the lady I can tell you that you had little to fear, except sometimes.
Have you ever seen Cesar Millan, The Dog Whispererer? (We watched more TV in the past two years than in the previous two decades) In case you aren’t familiar with him; His basic premise is: much remains in a dog that is left over from the wolf pack (before domestication) days. He asserts that if you want to have a polite dog that behaves you MUST assume the position of pack leader. The show is more about human psychology than dog psychology. He trains people how to assume that pack leader position. How you do it is: just do it! (body language, tone of voice, and all that)
The parallels with successful teaching (and other leadership roles) are amazing. If your roll is leader, you’ve got to just step up to the plate, grab the bull by the horns, and BE the leader. If you are the follower, you need to sit down, shut up, and pay attention to the leader. The kids (and dogs) are happier, no time or effort is lost to power struggles, and wonderful things start to happen. The magic occurs (as you noted) when the leader truly loves the ledees. Just being a battleaxe is not enough. She was not bashful about pointing out when you missed the mark, excellence wise, but she giggled like a schoolgirl when you made it.
Corrie and I were flabbergasted by the number of former students who sent messages (from all over North America, from over a 35 year time span) expressing the depth of, and their gratitude for the influence Gina had on their lives. It’s bizarre to say that your spouse’s funeral was uplifting, but it was.
The boat is currently in the yard getting some minor electrical maintenance and upgrading. It’ll go back to the dock in the next week. The weather may have already started to moderate. I’m ready for manly fishing or family cruising at any time.
Peace. Clay
Great to hear Clay. Can’t wait to get on the water. The kids wouldn’t mind seeing uncle Goober either.